I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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