You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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