i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
