My first STD was from a foam party
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize