You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Who died my cat blue again?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
