: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
