Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
