You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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