areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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