I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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