Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
