I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
