So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
