what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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