Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
