woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
