he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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