i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize