I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
