Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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