Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
His nipple licking is glorious
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
