forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
