Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
