it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
