I faked an abortion last night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
