I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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