Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
