They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
