And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The dick lei will go down in squad history
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
