I cannot find my penis.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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