puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
love makes seman taste better
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
