I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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