Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
