Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize