im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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