omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
