office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
