there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
soo... how was my night?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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