these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
