would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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