That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
