I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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