I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
