i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
