He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
