At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
