Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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