I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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