Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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