Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
