maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I intend to get homeless drunk
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
