that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize