So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
