Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
