Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
