sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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