you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
