Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
